The idea of surrender used to scare the living daylights out of me. It is not in my nature and it is not something that feels good to me.
Surrender used to mean giving up and I associated this defeat with my worth as being less than. I went down kicking and screaming each and every time the big surrender occurred because it meant I was no longer in control and control made me feel safe.
Little did I know then that control is an illusion and the need for it came from the most fearful part of myself. As I began to love myself more, the better I became at allowing, thus finding even more freedom in everything beyond my control.
I'm still not good with surrendering, I still put up a bit of a fight but I have practiced this art long enough to know when it's time to stop and let go. To allow for things to settle and come to me, beyond anything I could even dream possible, always exceeding my narrow-minded expectations.
I just auditioned for a big role/show and am really proud of the work I did. I gave it my all, left every ounce of my soul on the floor and now it's time: surrender. Let go of any expectation of further opportunity, release judgement of what could have been. It is done. I took the aligned and inspired action to share my art and now I allow for whatever is meant to be, as it will always be exactly as it should.
Grateful for my practice, grateful to have the ability to surrender in the first place and to be aware of when I am not... Curious, what are some ways in which you help yourself let go, finding freedom on the other side?